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03 July 2012

The rhythm of my heart

I could probably be coy and pretend to be in wonder about why I haven't posted in over a week, but I know we can all assume why I haven't been around. On June 30th, at 1:18 AM, my entire world changed around, all because of one tiny little person. I will share the story, but I want to let you know, it might be one of those that is a trigger for people, so if you get bothered easily, skip to the end. There's a picture there. Otherwise . . . Her birth is proof that man plans and God laughs. We went to the appointment on Tuesday thinking it would just be more wait and see. Well, after the cervix check (TMI alert here, I never want to hear another man complain about a prostate exam. No excuses, this had to have hurt WAYYYYY worse. And men can cough), he told us to go home, get packed and get to the hospital, because I was ready to be induced. He'd call us. So we raced home, me in hormonal tears, Left-brain thinking about cleaning the house so whoever took care of Beazer wouldn't think we live like slobs, LOL. Got home, waited for the call . . . and it never came. I started having labor pains around 2, called the doctor finally, and was told that the hospital did not have room for us, and that my pain was not severe enough to go in. And he'd call in the morning. I was miserable. Back pain solid for 8 hours. Left-brain kept rubiing my back to try to get it to go away, and I started crying. I know he knew it was for real, because, unlike when I cry at ASPCA commercials, he didn't tell me to stop being a sorry sap (he's teasing, of course). I told him if I hurt like that on Wednesday, we were going into the hospital. Any hospital. And of course it went away. Wednesday, doctor told me they didn't have time to induce me til Friday. I started crying. Left-brain was mad because he had now missed two days of work, and when you're a small businessman, that hurts.But we hung out. Thursday, we went down to his parents' house, because I was scheduled to be induced at 7:30 AM, and I was not doing that drive from Crazyville at that hour in my condition. Friday, we went in. Set us up in a room, we were completely ready to get the party started, in a sense. Left-brain decided that, if the baby had come by noon, he'd go home, feed the dog and come back. But she didn't come. I didn't feel contractions, nothing moved along. Not too displeased about the contraction issue, LOL, but they kept giving me meds that were supposed to help bring them on. Finally, Left-brain's dad said that there was no way that Left-brain was coming home and going back. He'd go check on the dog. And I am glad he did. At 7, they added Oxytocin to the mix of drugs. And then it got to be fun times in Suburban Maryland. The family gathered, my father made several inappropriate comments, as is his wont, and upset Left-brain, who chose to ignore it. I started feeling the contractions, and it took everything I had to not start screaming for drugs immediately. Some camping place called Left-brain on his cell to pester him to buy a lot to park the camper. Finally, he said, "Um, I am at the hospital, my wife is in active labor with our first child, and I think I need to be with her." And the person said, "Camping is a family-friendly activity." UM, HELLOO! I did finally break down and ask for drugs. Life was a peach after that. I started joking and talking to people. And still no baby . . . And then the storm hit. The DC Metro area was right in line with probably the worst thunderstorm cell we have had in years. My husband and his sister were watching the transformer across the street from our delivery suite arc and make that wierd noise they make when they blow (not a problem, I was high as a kite and didn't really care, as long as labor didn't hurt and my dad shut up. That may sound harsh, but he said a few things that were completely inappropriate, including his judgement of the amount of pain I could possibly be in, apparently far less than Dad has ever been in, as I was sobbing and they were prepping me for the epidural). When the storm rolled out, it left a million people without power in the DC area, trees down, power out, it was a war zone in the county I grew up in. And the baby didn't come. Doctor could not figure out how I was getting so much pitocin and the baby never moved. He asked me if I wanted to do a C-section or go home. Well, my water had broken hours before and I wanted it done. So we went for the C-section. And good thing we did. After we started and the baby hadn't come out (another TMI moment, I started to realize there was a problem when I saw blood spatter on the drape and realized I was the only person in the room bleeding.), and then heard the doctor yelling, "The cord, the cord." OK, my last worst pregnancy fear was that she would get the cord wrapped around her neck, and that came true. She had that sucker wrapped three times around her neck, as well as her arms and leg. I got frantic, and started asking Left-brain if she was OK. He kept telling me that she wasn't even out yet, but I kept asking. And then started crying. Not even my normal way of crying, just hitching sobs, because I was so scared that something bad would happen to Babygirl. They got her out, held her up, and showed her to us, then went back to work, sewing me back up. I just cried and cried. Left brain went to check on her and kept telling me she was beautiful, she was perfect, she was OK. He took such good care of me. And then they lowered the drop, and I saw my OB. It might have been the drugs, it could have been the hormones, it might have been my last lame attempt to be cute, but I told him he looked like he came out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Blood everywhere . . . not like how they are on TV. And I will say this now: I am grateful that man was my doctor. He saved my daughter's life, he gave me the person who more than completes me, and I will never forget that. I don't know if she was too tangled in the cord to even be delivered, or if she flat-out refused, but we are lucky. She spent most of the day in the NICU just to make sure she was OK, but we've had her since. We had our photo session yesterday with the hospital photographer. It was a show! She "christened" her pretty outfit two times, then had a blowout midst photo. She had a binky that she did not want out of her mouth, and the photographer kept taking it, so her photos are all of her with duck lips, wanting her binky back. Or else with angry face--one of the little things they do is a slide show, and there was a saying about Happiness is personified in a baby, and my little girl is looking at us, quite mad. Today was checkout day. I had a UK onesie for her to wear. Our colors are royal blue and white. Her bow got packed yesterday, so . . . two people at the nursing station told me my son was adorable. I just said thank you. She looks like me, people used to confuse me for a boy, it's her legacy. She's a girl.

  And here she is:
I woke up on Sunday, after a very short nap--I spent most of the night Saturday awake because I was afraid it was a dream--and she was looking at me with such love, like I was wonderful. But I know she's wonderful. I adore her.

29 comments:

Julie M said...

Congratulations Rachel and Left-Brain! Glad everything worked out okay in the end and that your baby girl is doing well.

Daffycat said...

Congratulations, Rachel! I am so happy for you and DH!

Eva said...

Congratulations on your perfect baby girl! She is beautiful!

Karen said...

Congrats... she is a doll!

Annie said...

Congratulations! She's absolutely gorgeous. So glad everything turned well after all that turmoil. Hope you have power.

VegasJilly said...

Glad to hear you and baby are well! She is a beauty! That was some crazy that came through maryland last week!

Astrid's dragon said...

So very happy for you three, what a blessing! She is just precious and I'm so glad everything turned out fine. Keep those beautiful pictures coming!

lynda said...

Congratulations!! You have a beautiful little girl and she has wonderful parents. And now you'll really experience what love is. Wishing you all the happiness in the world

Tammy Bergeron said...

wow what a story!! made me cry, my son is 7 months the first 3 months go by so fast you have probably already been told that. The best advice I can give you if you want it is to dress the baby in sleepers with zippers for the night. at 3 am you so so not want to be doing up snaps! She is adorable!!

Sherry said...

Congratulations to Mama, Papa and Baby. She is a miracle. She is perfect. Welcome to the world little one.

Rachel M said...

A big congrats for you and your family! She is beautiful and you all are so blessed.

Terri said...

Congratulations! She is beautiful!!

Abbie said...

She's beautiful!

Denise said...

Congratulations! She is adorable and very much the little girl!

What a delivery - everything lined up perfectly in the end. She just had some drama attached to her birth - may her life be calmer. ;)

Take care of yourself and that new one!

Bette said...

She is absolutely gorgeous! Best wishes to you and Left Brain.

Carol said...

Congratulations, Rachel!!! I'm so happy to hear your new little daughter has arrived--and what a story she'll have to tell some day about her birth... I'm sure you can't stop gazing at her--enjoy each and every moment. They do grow up so very quickly :)

Denise said...

Congradulations Rachel, she is beautiful!!!!!!
Denise

E.L. Chard said...

Such a lovely birth story, Rachel! She is such a beautiful baby and from where I'm sitting, there is no mistaking that sweet little face for anything other than a girl!

:o)

Erin said...

Beautiful!! And what a story you'll have for her when she's older. I'm glad it all ended happily for you.

Shanda said...

congrats!!! I'm so haooy for you! My now 18 year old son was born 3:17 am on June 39th...umby also wrapped 3 times, but he as yanking on it for service.

Nancy said...

She is beautiful!! Congratulations to you and your husband and your new little girl!

Clare - Aimetu said...

Congratulations Rachel to you, hubby and all the family - she's beautiful - a huge welcome x x

stitcheranon said...

Congratulations..a really well written post. I have tears in my eyes and she is absolutely 110% perfect. She looks like a baby: babies dont look like boys or girls in my opinion..but she is absolutely gorgeous. I have been feeling a bit down all day and now I feel wonderful (apart from the crying)..Thank God they went for the c section and you are both ok. Sending very soft hugs your way xxx

Kathy A. said...

Yippee!!! Yippee!!! Yippee!!! Your beautiful princess is here. Congratulations to you both. Enjoy that precious little bundle.

Elaine said...

Congratulations to you and your DH Rachel. Kaydence is beautiful!
Glad you are both now settled at home. Take care, hugs.

Beth said...

Congratulations - she's beautiful!

The Sweet Shadow said...

felicitaciones! blessings be with you all!

valerie said...

Congratulations Rachael! I am so glad that everyone is fine. Enjoy the ride! :)

Meari said...

Congratulations!!

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls