Catching up

I wanted to thank you guys for wearing green on Friday. It means the world to me.  We were not able to release balloons. Someone Small, her father and I were on our trip to Assateague, a break I dearly needed. I didn't want to release balloons in case they fell back to earth in the park or out at sea. So we sat on the beach a little after dawn, and said a prayer for Logan, and we sang a little bit for him. And we told him we'd remember him and help his mama fight. It was a privilege to have him in our lives, even from afar. And I have learned that every day with my child is precious and a gift. I get it now.

The little trip itself was a pleasure. To look at the island now, at least the state park on the northern end, it's hard to see the damage from Sandy. There is a lot of sand piled up on the dune crossings and the dune fences are damaged, but really, that's not a big deal. The grass will grow back, the sand will go back down, the island will survive. The ponies were not around. I don't know if it's because spring seems to be on high delay here in Maryland and it's been so cold they hang out in the forests, or if the new rules the state put in place to discourage people from "ruining" them are helping. I don't know what it is with people, but they think just because they're small and pretty, these ponies are tame. I guess they never see the photos of the stallions fighting? Because I can't imagine any other reason you would put a small child on the back of a feral stallion bareback without a bridle. DUMB DUMB DUMB. Only now that will cost you $100, so people are maybe stepping back on their interaction, and not feeding them, so there isn't as much incentive to come through the campground. I know, I have pictures of them in our camp, but we don't pet them, and usually just move things out of their way. and we don't feed them. But we took leisurely walks, I told Someone Small the story of Misty of Chincoteague, how the story got made into a book, and how Mummy petted Stormy  when she was a young girl and Stormy was very old. When she's older, we'll read the books, but this was for introducing her to my favorite place.

I even brought a stitching project. I have finished 3 projects since the beginning of April. All are small, but that's fine. Left-brain and Someone Small went "downy ocean" on Mother's Day, so I was all by myself and started the Cricket Collection's Sophia's Scottie mitten freebie for her in my spare time. In case you're wondering, 11 months of up at 5:30AM has set my internal alarm so well, I couldn't sleep past it just because she was not there, so I used that time to stitch. I don't know if it's good to work on her second year Christmas ornament when I haven't done her First Christmas one, but I have plans to do that one for her, too, soon. I like this ornament, though. It's pretty and a pleasant stitching experience.

We came home on Friday, because some stuff went down at my office while I was gone.That was unpleasant, but when I got home, my 2014 BH&G calendar was waiting for me. It's a lot nicer than the last two years have been. I think I found 6 designs that, given time to stitch, I could do.  I am glad I am keeping it, because Kaydence got a hold of it and bent it for me.   As we say to her, "UH OH."  Oh well, it's a nice calendar. The December design is by Joan Elliott, the Halloween design is really cute, and there is a fall design of a farm I like. I may not be able to stitch them now, but all in good time. I'll try to post pictures, but, in the meantime, if you see it and like the whimsical, pick it up!

So that's all for now. Hopefully the next post will be a picture post. I'll try to do that in the next couple days, but I have a bunch of tomato plants and an herb garden to try to plant before they die.

RIP Logan

I wrestle a lot with how much to post on here that is child-related, since I realize that not everyone cares to hear about other people's children, but I felt compelled to write this post today. If you don't think it's something you want to read, I get it. Come back next post. I have some exciting stuff to share!

Before I had Babygirl, I joined an online community so that I could meet other new moms, and maybe not feel so alone in being a parent. It has been a good experience, but, along with the joys we share as moms, we also have to deal with the hard stuff. Not all babies are born at 40 weeks, not all babies are healthy, not all babies live to be toddlers, and sometimes love isn't enough. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve to have a healthy child, and I realize how precious and wonderful a gift that is every day.

One of the children in the community was named Logan. He was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, the number 1 genetic killer of children under the age of 2, in November. His mother created a bucket list for him, came up with a palliative care plan, and loved him. She wanted SMA to become one of the illnesses they test for, so that no parent has to deal with this. Our group rallied around them as best we could.  Logan wore green on his birthdays, so we started wearing green to show our support. When people found out how the medical bills were affecting the family, they set up a way to donate, and to buy green shirts, so that we could educate about SMA. I bought Babygirl one to wear, even with money being tight, I wanted to help the family. I knew, from knowing Cole through the 123 message board, that Logan wouldn't win this fight, but at least he fought valiantly.

He died on Saturday. When I found out, I cried. Because it's not fair. How cruel is a disease that attacks the smallest? How fair is it to give a mom enough time to fall in love with a baby, to dream dreams of their future, and then rob the baby and the family of that future? I know, if it were me in that place, I don't know how I'd pick myself up and live.  And am I selfish to take pleasure in my baby's milestones, when Logan will never get to run and play?  I've been grappling with this this week. 

Logan will be buried on Friday. As a memorial, as part of us standing up to SMA, we moms are going to dress our children up in green. Some will release green balloons--I'd love to, but it's not possible. So I'll dress her up in her Logan shirt, and I'll take her picture, and send it for a book that's being put together to show Tia, Logan's mom, just how much of a difference her beautiful boy made in the world. So I'm asking you, my readers, would you consider wearing green for Logan?  I know it's a lot to ask, and it's OK if you don't, but I wanted to ask.
 Logan's page

Zooming through April

I thought I'd start this post with a picture Left-brain's cousin took of Someone Small and I on Easter. She is the same photographer who did our wedding pictures and she captures something really special with the baby and I, even in the simple moments.  Even though my hair is . . . interesting . . . I love this picture. I was zooming her around the backyard, since she couldn't look for Easter eggs with her big cousins. I may not take the best formal pictures, but these are the ones I will cherish.

Anyway . . . the saga of the sewing machine continues. We are on to winding bobbins now, which one of my co-workers at the theatre is supposed to help me with, but I may just suck it up and attempt to interpret the picture-directions on my own. I'm ready to start using the machine, and tired of waiting for other people's schedules. I am going to try to embellish a onesie on my own for the baby's birthday party, and I can't wait any longer.

I did find a new craft I would like to try. Mom and I went to one of those kids' consignment sales last weekend at the Ag Center in town--our version of a fairgrounds. I could go off on how strange it is that Metro Crazyville is a very rural place, at least for Maryland, and we have no county fair, but we have a fairground where they hold horse pulling and the 4-H fair, but that's another time. The sale itself was OK. We found some really pretty dresses for when she's 2 or so, and some clothes for daycare, since I have a constant running battle with them to get her things sent home (Mom says it's OK if they lose clothes that she buys her, since she enjoys buying things and she likes the idea of sending her to school in something pretty. I love it too, I just don't want her clothes jacked-up and lost. We don't bust our butts to pay for things to clothe the under-1 crowd in town).

But one of the vendors was selling sculpted hair bows.  This is not her work, but it's the same idea.
I realize I'm new to the kid-having set, but I've never seen anything like these before. I bought her three. Two with heart shapes, and one with a  set of cherries. The lady even fixed them for me so they'd grab Someone Small's hair--she did a thin line of hot glue along the alligator clip and let it dry. For the first time, my daughter wore a hair clip for more than 5 minutes. We told her she was pretty. She smiled.

But I got to thinking, they'd be pretty cool, embellishing a finish. I mean, from what I've seen, googling sculptured ribbon hair bow, you can pretty much make anything. How cute would this be in place of a bow on a ladybug-themed ornamant? Plus, lots of these sites have directions for making bows, and, really how different is hair flare from the bows we use to top no-sew cubes.  I know they're not everyone's cup of tea, but the talent out there is impressive.

What I did on my Spring Break

1. Got my sewing machine out of the box. It was a lot of box for not much sewing machine. But it's out of the box. I plugged it in and turned it on. And pressed on the pedal. It works like other sewing machines. Now to wind the bobbin. I'm doing this under the watchful eye of a seamstress to be sure it's done right. (The sad thing is, remember, I made a button-down shirt in college, with a pocket and a contrasting collar and cuffs that was a thing of beauty. And it was functional--I got an A in the class. This is not my first time at the rodeo. However, I look at that box, see that it has multiple quilting stitches available, and I want to run, screaming, from the room. Technology is wasted on me). But I know, once I figure it out, I'll be OK.  I already was telling myself I could make Babygirl an "I Spy" quilt. Or work on a couple artsy ideas I have in my little pea-brain.

2.  We went for Someone Small's 9 month pictures. She wasn't feeling her best at the start and had been sleepy all morning, but she perked up at the photo studio. Not at first--we had a minor meltdown in the middle of the first shots, but when I popped on the blue dress, she got happy:

Babygirl is 9 months old.


I do want to send a shout-out to the photo studio we went to. If you're in the Maryland suburbs, or know and love someone who needs some photos taken, they do a great job at the JC Penney's at Lakeforest Mall. We had the same photographer, Christina, who did her 6 month pictures, and Katie really responds well to her. And their prices are reasonable. These are pretty special times, and I like that they do such a great job.

And her dress is gorgeous, if I do say so myself. Crazyville has a Belk (I always laugh at the idea that they say they are Southern and you could pretty much jog to the Pennsylvania line, but there's a reason this is Crazyville). We saw these when she was 2 months old, and thought it would be nice to get one for her. The company is Petit Ami, and they do smocked dresses with hand-embroidery. Well, as a needleworker, I wanted something special for her, vintage-y, but not overly frou-frou. This company makes a nice baby dress. I don't know if the store carries their designs for older kids, but I'll be looking for more like this.

(And none of these places paid me, I'm just really pleased with how it turned out. Though, I won't lie here, if Petit Ami wants to hook us up with some clothes, we'll take them! Someone Small likes to look 'pret-ty')

I can't believe 9 months has gone so fast and that we've managed to survive it. When they handed her to me, when she was 20 hours old, after being in the NICU that first day, I was so scared I was going to really mess this up, since I'd never changed a diaper, never held anyone that new, never really had experience with little people, but she's been such a good baby.  And I am amazed every day at just how wonderful having this little person in my life is. She's a pretty cool kid!

I wish I had known

prior to getting pregnant that, a few months after having a baby, your hair falls out. 

And not just like a few strands.

Gobs and gobs of hair.

Apparently we don't lose hair while pregnant like we do while not with child, in my opinion so that, while the hormones are regulating after birth, our personal summer of hot flashes can be made oh so worse with hair plastered to our face. And then it all starts coming out. I didn't believe it could happen to me. And then it did.

Left-brain was suitably grossed-out. Apparently, explaining that it's hormones doesn't work as well for hair as it did when I was sitting in the camper 10 days post-partum, crying because the book I was reading was really sad (an experience I NEVER hope to duplicate, I was wailing, y'all). Or else they should have covered it in the discharge speech--he understands baby blues, not red hair all over everywhere.

And now, all that hair is growing out, and looking horrible. I haven't had a haircut in 17 months--I didn't feel like explaining to the hairdresser that I couldn't get my hair dyed because the doctor said not to, and why have a pretty cut if it's half grey? But I have bangs at the side of my hairline--not in the middle, that's growing and flowing, my legit bangs are past my chin. I look awful. I have plans though--this is not staying this way, no, m'ams and messieurs.

I am going to pull out my sewing machine tomorrow. I ran up to Joann's to get sewing thread for it. Someone Small came with me--it was her first experience sitting in the shopping chart without being in her carseat. I put aside my germ fears, strapped her in, and we proceeded around the store. I often wonder how things look from her perspective and how she thinks about things--she looked at everything so hard, even the cashier.  She just stared at her, occasionally sucking on her pacifier like a little Maggie Simpson-girl. LOL.  I told the girl, "She's usually not like this." So my plan is to take it out, run the needle through an old onesie of hers that is too disreputable to wear anymore to get the oil off and try some finishing. This may be a slow process--bear with me.

Photo fun . . . and a recipe.

Told you I finished something!  I have had this rolling around my UFO pile for the last two years. I am so happy it's finished. I've always really liked this design, and decided the Crazy January challenge 2011 was the perfect time to commit to it.  After the designer for Primitive Needle passed away so tragically that same year, I dedicated it to her--I still feel so awful about the way she was taken. But then life took over, and this, along with the rest of the Crazy January starts, fell along the wayside.   But now it's done, and really, when it comes down to it, this is a pretty good message for the way my life has been going lately--we just gotta keep going and hope for the best.

This is my problem child. This was kitted up by my LNS, and I don't have enough floss to finish it. I can pull the DMC from my stash, but the hand-dyed floss is another question. Even if I were to go back to the LNS and complain, the kit is from 2008, and matching the floss would be a problem. I'm just adapting the design as I can. And I am annoyed. This was not a cheap little kit. It's very cute though, so I am hoping I can finish it and not make it look too bad.  Wish me luck.

I don't know if I've posted this before, but I wanted to share a recipe that is part of my family's Easter celebrating . . . glorified rice. My gramma learned this recipe from her grandmother, and I've been trying to research where it came from, because so many of my gramma's recipes were, "til it taste me good", and it's hard to quantify how to make them. It's the one recipe that does not seem to be on the Internet, though, because I can find recipes that are close, but none that are exactly the same. It's not ambrosia, it's not rice pudding, it's glorified rice . . . and it's heavenly. So I wanted to share.

The ingredients: (yes, I use store brand for the most part. I do use name-brand vanilla, Penzey's to be precise. To me, it's the Ferrari of vanillas, but if you don't have it, use your favorite)

4 cups of instant rice, prepared per package instructions.

1 medium can of crushed pineapple, drained

1/2 C of sugar

1/2 t vanilla

medium container of heavy whipping cream

Combine the rice, sugar, and pineapple while the rice is still warm. It melds together a lot better that way.

I have seen recipes that use pineapple juice, not pineapple, and lemon jello, but I can't imagine how that would taste, plus it always makes me amazed that, in the early 1900s, in the hollers of Western Pennsylvania, my great-great-grandmother had access to and money for crushed pineapple. This was truly a special dish if she had that for her family.

When mixed, pour the cream over it and add the vanilla. You can use a little more or a little less depending on your preference. I have adapted it to be less sweet than my gramma's way because Left-brain won't eat it when it's too sweet, and you get enough calories from the cream. It's going to look soupy, but it goes in the fridge to "draw through" and thickens up.

This was a photo I took of the finished product. I love to eat that first bowl while it's still warm and yummy. It just doesn't photograph well. But it tastes, well, divine.



Katie "helped" me make it; she sat on the floor, banging pan lids while the water boiled for the rice. It's not fancy food, not to a modern palate, but it's good, and it's home food to me.

So that's all i have for tonight. I hope your weekend is going well. They are calling for snow on Monday here. Not sure if they're going to be right--the forecasters are started to laugh at their own ineptitude at this point. But Easter means spring is here and it has to warm up sometime.

In case you haven't seen it

Cross Eyed Cricket re-released the freebie, Slicker Bunny, on their site:

Go here, then to "gift design" to get your copy of it, while it's still out there.


I'm getting through, here in Crazyville. The time change has really been kicking my patootie. That and a new effort to try to get Someone Small to go to bed at a normal hour--she's been staying up til 10 or 11 on a weeknight and does not want to sleep in her own crib. I am so jealous of people who say their baby goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps all night--what is THAT like, do you know what I could get done with all that time? 5:30 comes early enough as it is, without spending the evening trying to convince her she really is sleepy, so we're starting a new effort to get her in bed by 9, in her own bed. So far, it's going OK, but still, it's going to take some time to get her used to it.

I have been working on a couple things since finishing No Scaredy Cats. I started Told In a Garden's Simple Gifts the next day, and work on that when I get a chance, which is not often, but also picked up the photo-to-chart image of the baby's hand holding my finger. I'd wanted to get it done by her first birthday, but I don't think that is going to happen, since I am not even finished the first page, but if not, I'll get it done by her second birthday. Debbie did a fantastic job charting it, I can already tell you what it is and there isn't that much done. And I started an older freebie my LNS kitted up for my March ornament for the Christmas ornament SAL. I think it's called Winter Moon. I've had to alter the design, since my LNS did not include enough green floss to finish both of the little trees in the design--it just makes it more personal. It's a big ornament, but that's OK, you have to have something for the bottom of the tree, right? 

I have two days off next week. On Friday, we're taking the baby for her 9 month pictures--can you believe she is 9 months old already?--but Thursday, I am planning on spending what time I can finishing ornaments. I think I may get the sewing machine out tomorrow to get it ready and figure out how to use it to maximize my time.

Other than that, not much going on. I am spending a lot of time on Pinterest, finding things I want to do. I like looking at the DIY projects, even though the holiday ones can make me feel woefully inadquate, but I am pinning them more as inspiration. I already have this great vision of white lanterns with red candles in them lining our walk next holiday season . . . and the wreath ideas! Left-brain has masses of old Christmas balls that his first wife bought to decorate their tree, ostensibly til they had enough of the personal ones to fill the tree (and I'll admit, I have done that too for my little tree, I just choose not to use them anymore), and we don't use them, so we just have a box of random Christmas balls that need to be refreshed and reused and I now have some ideas.

If you would like to follow me, welcome to my Pinterest world! And I would love to follow you!