30 September 2013

A couple of WIPs

My computer appears to be working better than expected. Yay! These are the two projects I have been focusing on for the past week. I am almost done page 3 of the photo-to-chart of our hands, and probably 2/3 finished with the Dames of the Needle piece
I know the Dames of the Needle piece is not the way that it was pictured in the magazine. I found this beautiful Faded Berries floss in my stash and it felt "witchy" to me--it screamed of a faded, dusty skirt, but in a good way. I didn't know if it would work so well on the brightness of the orange, but it works in a very odd way. It is just a lot of tedious stitching and counting. But it's going to be cool. Don't know how I'll finish it yet, but I have time for that. The hand picture was one I'd put back down for a while, but I picked up. I'm trying to figure out if I want to keep going across the top or drop down to the third row and work my way over when I'm done this page. I've finished my Ornament exchange ornament for this year, but haven't done the finishing part. I think that may be a project for next week, but I've also got to organize this office and start making some hard decisions about getting rid of things. I am starting to realize things should either function well or give me pleasure. My items are really not giving me pleasure, not when I have to step over them to get what I need or they slide around. I was sitting here the other day under a towering pile of boxes, wondering if they were going to fall on me, and I'm tired of that. So, things are gonna start getting gone. There is a whole mess of boxes with stuff I don't use in them in the garage. I can't get to them, but the lack of access isn't causing me hardship, so I guess I don't need them, and they can go. At least this is what I tell myself. I may not be able to let them go when it comes to it.

29 September 2013

Technical difficulties

For some reason the computer that I use for most of my posting does not seem to like Blogger anymore, as it just attempts to load and load and load and never actually loads. So that is my problem and has been for a long time. And I think I need a new personal PC, but I have been dumping most of my available funds into bills and the house and computer money just isn't there. But it's all good . . . as long as I keep my part-time job, I can post here, if I remember to bring my camera. I have more and more stitching time lately. I started about 4 projects since the beginning of August. One is Left-brain's Christmas train, I am toying with adding beads to it to fancy it up some. I finished Someone Small's Halloween ornament and found fabric to back it and the one from last year. I also started Dames of the Needle's design from the Halloween special. I am stitching it with Victorian Sampler Threads in Faded Berries on fabric I dyed years ago, and it's turning out great. Hopefully, I can post pictures of them soon. Robbie came home to me yesterday. I held his little box and cried. I miss my boy. He will go on our dresser with his older sister and Shocka. We are going to get little plaques to put on their boxes at some point, but right now, we're just not moving the boxes, so we keep everyone straight. Left-brain wants to spread Shocka at the cottage, but he hasn't mustered up the strength to do it, and I promised the little ones that I'd never leave them again, and I just can't leave them at the cottage, not even now. We have talked about getting another dog for me, and have decided, when Shocka leaves us, which I do not want to happen for a long time, we'll get another Schipperke. Things will start looking up soon, I know.

15 September 2013

Season of change

I know I have been away from blogging all summer. I didn't intend to be. I had more time to blog, but I chose to spend a lot of it with Kaydence. It has been a sweet season with her, watching her change and her personality develop. She is hopping now; her teacher says an almost 14 month old is not supposed to do that, but mine is doing it. I am grateful for the time I have had with her. Grateful for the sweetness of having life perfect for a month or so. But seasons change . . . Last Friday, my mom called me, just as my theatre shift was ending. With bad news. She has had custody of my Robbie since I moved in with Left-brain. It wasn't the intention to leave him with her forever, but that was how it turned out; Robbie would not have gotten along with Beazer and would have probably been killed, and he loved my mom, so she took him. I have been upset about this since it happened, but it was what it had to be. Anyway, he wasn't acting right, so she took him the vet, and the blood tests they did said he most likely either had a Stage 5 lymphoma or leukemia. They had to wait til the pathologist officially gave the results. It was devastating, maybe because he had been so well, just older. I sat with him on Saturday, cuddling and loving him, I told him if he'd just stick it out, I'd bring him home with me. He licked me and loved me, and I was hopeful maybe that the wait from the pathologist would mean he was OK, that it was something bad, but treatable. And it wasn't so. Monday evening, I sat and held him while he left. It was at sunset. I hated every second of it, but I did it for him, so he wouldn't be scared, so for once, he would be the one leaving, not me. I tell myself he died with someone loving him, and someone crying as he left, and there are dogs who are not given that, and there weren't options otherwise, but there are moments where it hits me that my dog is gone. And I feel such guilt about what I didn't do. Yesterday, Katie and I went to Hobby Lobby and were looking at the ornaments, and it struck me that I have to purchase him a memorial ornament for the Christmas tree, and I had to make myself get control, because I didn't want to have to be in that position. Not this soon. Not with him. And I hated it. And work is not going as well as I had wanted. I won't go into detail, but it's not how I wanted to be. And I am facing having to re-evaluate this situation. And I don't like it.
I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls