is increasing. And I don't mean we're adding pets. Although I would like to. I told Left-brain about the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet this weekend, and how they have an adorable pit/lab mix puppy. We got to talking about it, and Left-brain doesn't understand why it's always the pitbulls and the labs hooking up. Somehow he doesn't believe my theory that pits and labs are the "hos" of the dog world. I asked Beazer if he would like a Lab girlfriend and make his own little mutts. He seemed to be in agreement, Left-brain said no. His exact words were, "You don't have the time now, and you won't have the time later." Sadly, I had to agree, poor old Beazer won't get to see his progeny running through the back yard.
You see, Left-brain and I are going to be parents. I'm not kidding. It seems kind of wierd to be a "mom"; part of me laughs inside at that, at the idea someone is trusting me with another human being. Fortunately, most of me figures I'll be a good mom, since I'm pretty "young" at heart. I think that is the same part of me that says, "Oh, surely they give you some sort of multiple choice test before letting you out of the hospital with a baby." Nope, if you got the co-pay, a carseat, and a pediatrician, you too can be a parent (of course, remember, I got married in a county whose only requirements for a marriage license are the payment, a photo ID and a right arm--Maryland seems to be pretty lax about these life-changing choices, LOL)
I'm due in early July, the 6th to be exact. So far, it's gone about the norm, except that I'm considered high-risk, due to my age, and serious hypertension. Even before they had confirmed the pregnancy (which is a long and involved story, and is the reason I HATE my PCP), they diagnosed my blood pressure as dangerously high. It was touch and go for a while and they have been watching me very closely, but we finally seem to be getting it under control. I pray about it, I ask God and my gramma to protect this baby, and I am trying to do better. This has been a wake-up call for me; I've been changing a lot of things, drinking more water, much less fast food, being more mindful of what goes in me in general, since this isn't just about me anymore. I want to be in this child's life as long as possible and as healthy as possible. Knowing that I feel better, that I have less headaches than before is proof I can do this.
We don't know the sex yet. Yes, we want to know. No, we're not sharing that information til he or she comes out. We did pick out names: Logan Willam for a boy, which I love because the doctor took one look at Left-brain and said, "With that one, you are going to have a big baby." If it's a boy, I want a strong name for him, a big man should have a strong name. If it's a girl, her name will be Kaydence Breanna, which has dual meaning. We will call her Katie or Kate, which was my great-grandmother's name. I respect her because she raised 8 children all by herself after her husband died when my grandfather was small, and sent my grandfather to college, where he became a teacher and affected the lives of hundreds of kids. That's a pretty good tribute to her, but she needs her name carried on. The middle name is a combination of Best friend Brea's name and that of my mom. Three very strong women in one little name. Also, the name means "beat strong", and, when we were in the process of confirming whether or not I had gotten pregnant, my OB/GYN sent me for an ultrasound. All I saw was this little flashing light, the baby's heartbeat, like it was saying, "I'm here, Mama. You were right," and it was so strong. Proof there are miracles. I didn't know the meaning til after I had chosen the name for the first reason, but it's almost as if it was meant to be.
In case I haven't said it, we are really excited for this change in our lives. To think, God willing, we will have a baby next Christmas and get to see the holiday through a child's eyes, to have summers making sand castles and watching this baby experience Assateague and the fair, and dressing up for Halloween, first days of school, when I was not terribly sure I'd ever have that experience (when I was 30, unmarried, and no prospects are coming down the line, motherhood seemed a pipe dream), knowing other women go their whole lives, wanting this and not having it, makes me feel so lucky. And thankful.
I hope no one minds that I posted and that I rambled on and on. I meant to post this earlier, but couldn't get around to it, and it seems rather silly to not say anything anymore. I appreciate everyone who sent good thoughts and asked after me right after the blood pressure started, and for putting up with me while I've been tired and not very interesting over the past few months. Hopefully, we're into the better stretch of the pregnancy at this point; I have more energy, even though you wouldn't know it if you'd watch me walk, LOL, and my appetite is back. YAYYYY!