26 August 2012

Checking in

It's been a while, but I haven't stitched very much in the past two weeks.  Left-brain and I have been fighting a heinous cold for the last week, and it's taken all our effort to keep upright.  Monday, I had such bad chills, I had to wear a sweatshirt all day, and slept with 4 blankets.  It wouldn't have been so bad, but this was my last week home with the baby and I was miserable most of it. 

She starts school tomorrow. I have another week off, but this lets me ease into letting her go to daycare without having to keep myself together for work. I have been getting a bit emotional for the past couple weeks whenever I think about it, even though I know it's how it has to be, particularly with the current state of business, but it doesn't make it easier to think of my tiny daughter being away from me.  I have to send her out in the world now, and I don't want to.  I never in my life thought it would be this hard to do this--I was Rachel, who never wanted to be tied down, who took a lot of her self-worth from work, and now, all I want to do is cuddle her.  And take pictures of her, LOL.

I know it will be OK.  The staff is kind; she smiled at Miss Julie on Wednesday when we visited. I know she'll take good care of her.  I'm going to try to not call during the day.  I think it will be better for me not to do so.   Then, when I get to go get her, she won't know how I worried about her. And I do think it will be good for me to get some stuff done while she is not here.  I have to renew my car license, and there was all that baking I had planned to do before I realized you don't bake in a house with a baby without some other person there.  I might get the naps I haven't been able to get in 8 weeks. I have some ornaments to finish.  So I'll have some work to do to occupy my mind. But when I go get her, someone is getting kissed and kissed and kissed.


riona said...

There's really nothing to say in response to this post ... just a virtual hug for you both.

Annie said...

Must be really hard to put your pride and joy into the care of others. But I guess we do what we have to do. Good to hear you have confidence in the staff.

Hope that cold is almost gone and you can get things done along with some uninterrupted rest before you have to head back to work.

Carol said...

A baby sure changes everything, doesn't she, Rachel?! I wish you good luck with your transition back into the work force. It sounds like you've selected a great little school for your daughter!

Hope you get caught up on a few things during this transition week and catch up on your sleep--best wishes to you!

Meari said...

I hope you're feeling better now?

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls