14 May 2013

RIP Logan

I wrestle a lot with how much to post on here that is child-related, since I realize that not everyone cares to hear about other people's children, but I felt compelled to write this post today. If you don't think it's something you want to read, I get it. Come back next post. I have some exciting stuff to share!

Before I had Babygirl, I joined an online community so that I could meet other new moms, and maybe not feel so alone in being a parent. It has been a good experience, but, along with the joys we share as moms, we also have to deal with the hard stuff. Not all babies are born at 40 weeks, not all babies are healthy, not all babies live to be toddlers, and sometimes love isn't enough. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve to have a healthy child, and I realize how precious and wonderful a gift that is every day.

One of the children in the community was named Logan. He was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, the number 1 genetic killer of children under the age of 2, in November. His mother created a bucket list for him, came up with a palliative care plan, and loved him. She wanted SMA to become one of the illnesses they test for, so that no parent has to deal with this. Our group rallied around them as best we could.  Logan wore green on his birthdays, so we started wearing green to show our support. When people found out how the medical bills were affecting the family, they set up a way to donate, and to buy green shirts, so that we could educate about SMA. I bought Babygirl one to wear, even with money being tight, I wanted to help the family. I knew, from knowing Cole through the 123 message board, that Logan wouldn't win this fight, but at least he fought valiantly.

He died on Saturday. When I found out, I cried. Because it's not fair. How cruel is a disease that attacks the smallest? How fair is it to give a mom enough time to fall in love with a baby, to dream dreams of their future, and then rob the baby and the family of that future? I know, if it were me in that place, I don't know how I'd pick myself up and live.  And am I selfish to take pleasure in my baby's milestones, when Logan will never get to run and play?  I've been grappling with this this week. 

Logan will be buried on Friday. As a memorial, as part of us standing up to SMA, we moms are going to dress our children up in green. Some will release green balloons--I'd love to, but it's not possible. So I'll dress her up in her Logan shirt, and I'll take her picture, and send it for a book that's being put together to show Tia, Logan's mom, just how much of a difference her beautiful boy made in the world. So I'm asking you, my readers, would you consider wearing green for Logan?  I know it's a lot to ask, and it's OK if you don't, but I wanted to ask.
 Logan's page


stitcheranon said...

I think you are absolutely right to post this. As a very healthy nation death has almost become a stranger to us but you are right: not all children get to grow up: not all mums get to see their babys reach adulthood and it isn't fair. Of course you must enjoy your childs milestones. Death, like birth is natural: it is part of life and whilst it is horrible and heart breaking, it is something we all experience. I will wear green: just a little gesture, one mom to another so she knows she is not alone: my kids are grown up so they won'b but mother to mother, I am sending my prayers and cyber hugs to all who involved is this most difficult of times.

lynda said...

Thank you for posting this, and keeping this horrible disease out there in people's minds. I still have Cole's picture on my board at work from all those years ago. And now I will add Logan's. They are both angels now, and yes, I will wear green and make sure that my grandson does as well. Hopefully one day there will be a cure for this so other children (and their parents) don't have to suffer so.

BearShe Cottage said...

I am so sorry to hear that a child has passed. It breaks my heart to hear of any child passing at a young age. Weather they are 2 or 17 (such as my nephew)the sadness and heartbreak is there. My prayers go out to that family. I pray peace with the assurance that Logan is with Jesus and will be forever hugged by GOD.

Honeybee said...

I'll wear green today for Logan. They've been in my prayers.

Lynn D said...

I am so sorry to read about Logan.

My take on celebrating Kaydence's milestones is this... the best way to honor Logan is to let his love live on. Keep his love in your heart and if you have a moment where you are tired or overwhelmed, remember him and allow his love to give you strength and comfort. Kaydence will remember the love and pass it on to her children in the future... so Logan lives on.

Shebafudge said...

To be honest, I can't say it any better than Gaynor has already. I will wear green and Rachael said she will risk wearing a green hairband to school. Thoughts and prayers go to Logan's family xx

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls