Tears

Not a heck of a lot of stitching went on this week, since I was trying to get the house put back to order before starting work. We did, however, take some time to get the kids' picture taken with the Easter bunny, since I don't know what my schedule will be for the next few weeks. K was quite happy to visit the bunny, but her brother wanted no part of it.

I have no idea what bothered him, except he was tired. His stroller is in the back of our truck, which is at the repair shop, getting the transmission replaced. We just had the flipping thing rebuilt last spring, and it went out at the end of February. At least, when it broke, it was NOT when the kids and I were in the car. And it did have a warranty. So . . . but that is not helpful when you are trying to corral a rowdy toddler at the mall on a Saturday afternoon. He was full of energy. But that bunny . . . oh my. He cried for another 45 minutes after we got out of the center court--I had to calm him down with an onion ring.

I start my job tomorrow. I'm so nervous, and, to be honest, upset. It's not that I don't think I can do this job, because I know I can do it. It's the change. And I have had so much unwanted change in the last year or so. It's all taken a toll on me that doesn't seem to heal. I got to thinking and I want the life I had in 2015 back. I was happy, we had a good income, I thought I could conquer the world. Now I don't know who I am, or what I want to be. Logan is the only really good thing that happened since then, but even that took so much from me. And I sometimes think I'll never get back to being OK, and that scares me, because I have these two wonderful little people who depend on me, and I don't want them to grow up remembering this version of me. I don't like her. I just don't really know how to get rid of her. I've spent the last few months praying to not be one of those people that falls through the cracks. I even felt the need a few nights ago to wish on a shooting star. We'll see how  that works out. I'm going to do the best job, and use this time to see if this is really what I want to do.

I am sorry to be a downer. It's just one of those days . . . I have been crying a lot lately. More lately than before.

Is it March already

February actually ended up being kind of a bust stitching wise. My depression at the job hunt took over for most of the month, despite my best efforts, and I spent a lot of time in bed. Job hunting is hard. And frustrating. I spent 11 years as a insurance underwriter, a very good underwriter, and I only last week got a response for an interview I had in January for a 16 hour a week job at the bank I use; they didn't offer me the position. I did get a job at a theatre in Baltimore, though. I just found that out last week. I'm nervous. I have never attempted to do any theatre job full-time, and I'm not sure how well I will do, but I am going to try. I am grateful to have a job with benefits and want to do my best to justify my hiring.

Anyway, I did get a project finish last month.  The little kitten mitten is done. I love the vibrance of the blue of the mitten on that crisp white fabric--remember, it's not the called-for floss, but I just loved how it looked at my LNS.

Snowflake Kitten Mitten

Cross Eyed Cricket

14 count aida with mostly called for threads and RG Splendor

 

 

I'm planning on finishing this. I know I say this a lot, but I think my non-stitching time this year will be used for finishing. I just bought some finishing boards, and think I can probably spend some time getting it done. 

This is my progress on Summer Ball. Everything from the guy's sleeve over is new for this month. I realized I don't like stitching all the men on this piece. Lots of complex shading. The women are easy to do, at least everyone but the yellow lady! I think there are only 3 men in this section, though:

Summer Ball

Sandy Littlejohns for Cross Stitch Collection

stitched on 32 count Jobelan with  Anchor threads

 

 

And this happened. My theatre is putting on a very different, amazingly beautiful show about the effect of suicidal depression on the family. It's a lot of audience involvement, and the actor often goes up in the audience. The entire box office staff attended the dress rehearsal, where the theatre's photographer takes the promo photos. We ended up in the photo they used in the review for the Washington Post. And who ended up in the middle of the picture, but ME (I'm the redhead in the wild shirt.)!  Luckily I had dyed my hair that day and did my makeup. It's not a bad picture; I think I was on the verge of laughing, but at least I don't look awkward!

 

I hope everyone has a good week.