11 June 2014

More progress

It's getting there.

All I have left is a bit of the lettering on the right side and the beach, but it's straight beach and water for 60 stitches, kind of boring stitching. I am not a big fan of LA charts because of them being colored--I don't like color charts when the color that they use has nothing to do with what the finished chart will look like. It's odd, but it throws me off and I don't like it. And so this vast run of color is dragging me down. I decided to break it into columns, 10 stitches wide, though, and that works a little better. I worked on it during Deadliest Catch last night, so it went OK.

I need to learn how to schedule things. I have, what 4 days to finish this, and not sure I am going to make it.  I signed up for a training class at work to learn a new skillset, and I was in class on Saturday for 5 hours. Training continues this Saturday, I don't think it's as long, though, and I'm supposed to go see a play for work, if I can get tickets, then we are doing the big Father's Day thing on Sunday, so that will take some time.  On top of it, I have 4 books to read by next Thursday that are on the highly-requested list, so not sure that's going to work.  I may end up owing the library some money, y'all, cause I am not returning them til I am done.

With Father's Day being so close to when Daddy died, it's hard for me this year. In a different way than it was when Gramma died. That was a terrible year--the first Thanksgiving, we didn't feel like cooking, so we ordered one of those pre-cooked meals from the grocery store. And it was dreadful. And the turkey needed to be cooked another two hours. It was the worst Thanksgiving ever. Plus, Daddy was in the hospital, still fighting to recover from the car accident that took Gramma, and that cast a shadow on everything. At Christmas, it was just trying to find a reason to believe in the wonder, now that the person who made the holidays so special was gone. But Father's Day feels different, and those stupid ads! Belk sent an email to a link for a Father's Day sale. They had pink pants. And those irritated me. Maybe because Left-brain wouldn't wear pink pants if they were the only pair he had in the closet--he's a jorts and t-shirt kind of man. My dad would have probably have worn them, if they were on sale, because my dad still thought in terms of 1970s prices, til my mom and I started buying him clothes. But I won't get to buy silly things like that anymore for him. And it got to me. I saw a guy who looked a little like him at the grocery store, and it hit me that I don't have a dad anymore; I bet that guy thought I was crazy, a fat lady pushing her cart away, crying, in the middle of the Food Lion, but it happened. I'd give anything to be able to have my dad back for an hour, the way he was before all this happened, how he was when I was in college, or even right after I got married, and I'd be able to tell him I am sorry I was a royal pain, sorry for the times I didn't have enough time for him, and thank him for being there for me when he could be. Heck, I'd give him pink pants if it would get him back for me. I think I may have to settle for just not checking email and ignoring the TV til the weekend is over.


BeckyG said...

Write your dad a letter and tell him all the things you've said in your blog. And, of course, about Someone Small.

And on Father's Day, or his birthday, or whenever you need to, pull it out and read it to him. He'll love the pink pants story, and he'll love hearing about Someone Small.


Carol said...

This is going to be such a special piece for your husband, Rachel--hang in there with the boring part. It will be worth it :)

I can only imagine how hard this particular Father's Day will be for you... My dad has dementia and hasn't known me for quite a while and I just broke down while reading the Father's Day cards in the store last week so I know a bit of what you are feeling. Dwell on the memories of happy times you two shared--he sounds like a great guy!

Vicky said...

My dad passed a couple of years ago and the first fathers day and birthday were horrible. I actually went to pick up the phone and call him on that first fathers day.


Jennifer said...

Oh Rachel! I'm so sorry you're going through this. And I just keep thinking that it says a lot about how important he was to you and what an impact he had on your life that it hurts so much to lose him. And I hope that knowing he made such a deep impact on your life will carry you through these hard times to a point where you can think about him and feel happy.

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls