2013 finishes, more for my own information

• 9 July-Kid Quotes-Dimensions Kit
• 9 June--Addie's Tiny Tree--Cricket Collection
• May 24th--Winter Moon-brown Dog Studios freebie
• May 19th--Scottie Mitten--Cricket Collection
• April--Summer freebie
• 21 March--Mr. Blue Monster--JCS Halloween book--Mosey n Me.
• 8 March--No Scaredy Cats--Waxing Moon
• 18 February-dog reindeer freebie--Un Jour, Une grille
• 17 February--December Square--Little Bitty Kitty Quilt Club-Val's Stuff
• 7 January--Dragonlets of Christmas Day 11--Dragon Dreams
• 1 January--Dragonlets of Christmas Day 10--Dragon Dreams

Been a long time

I think this is the longest I have gone without a post since I started this blog in 2006.

Fall was not easy here in Crazyville. We've been dealing with a lot of things. It started out with some manner of a cold about the last time I posted, and I ended up getting terribly sick. I spent Halloween and the three days after in bed, with the worst sore throat I've ever had, and terrible sinus congestion. It . . .maybe ruined is not the right word, severely messed up my birthday dinner, and that was the end of my willingness to tolerate this illness.  In case I haven't made it clear in the past, I loathe going to the doctor for any reason, so for me to break down and go to the Urgent Care, it was a big deal, but I was worried I had strep throat, or pneumonia, and so I went. It ended up being bronchitis, but it was a few more days that I was out of commission.

And then I realized it was getting closer to Christmas and I didn't have nearly enough money for gifts. So I have been working like a dog since then. Lots of hours at the theatre, and overtime as much as I can. I  managed to book 131 hours of work between the 8th of December and the 23rd. And that was just that paycheck. I've been doing this, full-tilt, since the beginning of last month. I am exhausted. I decided I will not put myself in this position next year. December flew by and there weren't the moments of bliss I was working so hard to enjoy. We had terrible weather, and, by the time we could get the Christmas tree, it was December 21st, and we had to go to a treelot and slog through mud . . . with a toddler. But we supported Mr. Trevor, the local farm market, with the purchase, so it was worth it.  We did decide, though, we are not buying live trees anymore, at least not large ones. We can buy roping to give the house the holiday smell, and will buy an artificial tree--Left-brain gets twitchy at the mess and I am tired of being at the mercy of the weather to go get the tree. And of being scheduled so tightly that it's hard to find the time to do the things that make the season fun.

Our Christmas was pretty nice. I was spoiled. Left-brain bought me two new charms for my charm bracelet, and some longjohns--our house is freezing, so I need them. My mom bought me a beautiful red purse; I've never had a colored purse before, but I wear so much black and white these days for work at the theatre, I wanted a pop of color. And my aunt surprised me with a large bottle of Penzey's vanilla. I found this stuff two years ago, and have been using it exclusively ever since for my baking, and you can really taste the difference, but I hoard it because I'm afraid to run out. Now I can bake!  Someone Small made us an ornament of her fingers shaped like snowmen. So cute. I know why my mom treasured the stuff we made in school. But I do wonder what she thinks when they do these projects in school. Can you imagine the conversations between the kids: "Do you know why they keep mashing our hands against these balls?"  "I don't know, but they do it ALL THE TIME and then we have to wash our hands." "Adults are crazy."  "You got that right?"

This is normally the time of year I assess my stitching year. I don't know what to say about 2013. I had more finishes than I listed, but I forget when I did them, so can't add them to my list. So I am not happy about my lack-a-daisical approach to that. But, in a way, even having one finish is a victory in a year where I was still acclimating to motherhood, transitioning to a new job, and really doing a lot of self-reflection and setting new goals for myself. I've got some progress photos to show on new projects, have made some plans for next year. I will try to post those between now and New Years, if the computer acts right.

As for what I'm going to do next year, first and foremost, I'm getting myself together. I know I say that every year, but it's now to the point where I NEED to make some manner of change and make it soon. All the weight I lost after the baby came back and I am angry at myself about that. I need to get my financial house in order, as well as my physical house. 2014 is the year I really want to blossom into a woman Someone Small can be proud of having for a mom, I feel like this is a time when I can reinvent who I am into who I want to be, but there is all this debris and self-doubt, both physical and mental, and I have to get rid of that.

Can October be almost over?

Where did it go? I think I've spent the month hopped up on fun-size candy bars, and deep in my own thoughts, and barely noticed much else happening. I have been working on my master plan for 2014, both in stitching and in life, but it's just a start, so not much to report on on that front.

I did want to share this picture first. My hometown had its annual street festival about a month ago. Chilly day, but lots of fun. Someone small got her share of  'deedees'--dogs and cats--and took a nap. This CAN NOT be comfortable, but Mom didn't want to wake her up.

 

 

Earlier this month, we attended one of the fall church festivals and rummage sales. I know, I am supposed to be simplifying, but the prices were reasonable and it helps the church. I am always on the lookout for cool fall stuff.

 

This was the most expensive thing, and it was $5. It looks awesome with a candle in it.

This picture was 75 cents. I had grand plans to make it a backdrop for a tableau that is not happening. Maybe next year. I thought Leftbrain would be a little annoyed I brought home someone else's old painting, but he said his mom had this one at one point. No it's not hers, LOL, it just looks like it. And it's flat, so it can store easily for the rest of the year. 

 

 

And my other little goodies. I bought the frames for stitching. May keep the little pictures, though. They are pretty and older and someone enjoyed them. But then again, I don't have space for things like this.

And I was pretty pleased to find the patriotic stuff. That sheep is ca-yute!  I didn't decorate patriotic this year. Our garage is a mess, so it was not something I felt like tackling. Next year, though . . 

 

I will say, the little bowl, which I put out for fall because it had a blackbird on it, is gone already. I don't know where it went. But I suspect I will find it in a toybox.

 

We did get out and get pumpkins this year. Last year, Katie was too young to go to the pumpkin patch, and we were too broke, and then Hurricane Sandy happened and I rushed out right before it came through to get her a pumpkin, so it wasn't a fun thing. This year, it rained the few days before, so we didn't go tromping through the patch, but we took her to the farm market. She is giving her cousin a kiss--Katie is a kisser to beat all kissers, much to her father's chagrin--but she is a good picker too.

 

Friday night, I went to a reading and book signing by Wally Lamb, who wrote the first Oprah's Book Club book. Metro Crazyville is not the first place I would have a book reading, because we don't even have a real bookstore--you have to drive 20 miles to browse a Barnes & Noble, or even a good used bookstore--so it was more impressive that I could drive 5 miles and listen to the author of some of my favorite books. I appreciate that he came. I thanked him for writing The Hour I First Believed, which is one of my favorite books, even though it's not an easy read, nor is it a traditionally happy book.  I am looking forward to immersing myself in his newest book, We Are Water, but I have to finish The Monuments Men, another great book first.

 

And I have been stitching more. This is a freebie from Brooke's Books. I am not using the fancy materials the pattern calls for, but I just love the way it looks on PTP Flapper. I love that fabric anyway, but this looks great!

 

This is from a LA book, Fast & Festive: 50 Christmas Designs. I started it Easter 2011, and just found it the other day, so decided to finish it.

 

It's not the best picture of it, but it will be done by Thanksgiving, to be up for Christmas. I made it as a hand-towel. I will put it in our front bathroom. I know Leftbrain wouldn't use this to clean up a mess in the kitchen, but Someone Small likes it a lot and would probably take it and put it with the afore-mentioned bowl. And I can not deal with hunting it down.

 

I also started the Mary SAL from Plum Street Samplers.  It's a nice fast stitch, and I think it will be pretty when done.

 

So that's all that is going on right now in my world. I hope you are ready for Halloween if you celebrate it. I have a cool project I am hoping to at least start on that day. Hopefully, I will have some progress photos on that, but I am not guaranteeing. Otherwise, eat a few funsize Snickers, and enjoy the day!

Cancer . . .

It's out in the stitching blogger community that Pumpkin, whose real name was Cathey, lost her valiant battle with cancer last week. It comes as a great shock to me and a great loss. Cathey was one of the first people to follow my blog, and I loved seeing her avatar on my "Recent Visitors" gadget. That doxie with the wagging tail . . . it made me happy. She was a nice lady. It hurts me that she's not here anymore, even though we were only connected through our blogs. I hurt for her son, and her husband. It's not fair he will not have his mom see him graduate high school, or dance at his wedding. As a mom, that hurts me, that terrifies me, and part of me thinks, why her? See, I have two high school friends who are also fighting this battle. One I have known since I was 4, who I used to sit in the back of our French IV class and goof off because we were both brilliant in French and didn't need to spend a lot of time reading about people in Paris wanting American jeans, and one I used to play soccer with and who I palled around in Materials Science class with; she used to call our teacher a monkey, I don't know why, but she did. We were all very close in my high school; it was a small town, and everyone knew everyone from childhood. Chelsea is 37, with 2 small children, and she is fighting her second round, Joey is 34. Young women with little kids who aren't done living, and they are fighting this . . . bullshit, hateful disease. My gramma fought it too, so did my MIL, but this isn't right. It's not fair. And I realize I am way too old to be still under the impression that life is fair, but it kills me that my friends worry how their husbands will care for their kids if they don't get rid of this cancer. No mom should have to worry about that. No dad should ever have to deal with it. And I'm angry because they couldn't save Cathey, and what if they can't save Chelsea, or Joey? Maybe it's not right that I say this. I'm probably breaching etiquette, but it hurts. Losing one good person makes the world a sadder place. And I wish Cathey would be the last mom we ever lose. RIP, Pumpkin, dear Cathey. Your family, especially Junior and your husband, are in my prayers. I hope that the wonderful memories of you help them get through this time, and I hope they know how many lives you touched and made better. Pat Brie for me. I know she's missed you. Farewell.

A couple of WIPs

My computer appears to be working better than expected. Yay! These are the two projects I have been focusing on for the past week. I am almost done page 3 of the photo-to-chart of our hands, and probably 2/3 finished with the Dames of the Needle piece

I know the Dames of the Needle piece is not the way that it was pictured in the magazine. I found this beautiful Faded Berries floss in my stash and it felt "witchy" to me--it screamed of a faded, dusty skirt, but in a good way. I didn't know if it would work so well on the brightness of the orange, but it works in a very odd way. It is just a lot of tedious stitching and counting. But it's going to be cool. Don't know how I'll finish it yet, but I have time for that. The hand picture was one I'd put back down for a while, but I picked up. I'm trying to figure out if I want to keep going across the top or drop down to the third row and work my way over when I'm done this page. I've finished my Ornament exchange ornament for this year, but haven't done the finishing part. I think that may be a project for next week, but I've also got to organize this office and start making some hard decisions about getting rid of things. I am starting to realize things should either function well or give me pleasure. My items are really not giving me pleasure, not when I have to step over them to get what I need or they slide around. I was sitting here the other day under a towering pile of boxes, wondering if they were going to fall on me, and I'm tired of that. So, things are gonna start getting gone. There is a whole mess of boxes with stuff I don't use in them in the garage. I can't get to them, but the lack of access isn't causing me hardship, so I guess I don't need them, and they can go. At least this is what I tell myself. I may not be able to let them go when it comes to it.

Technical difficulties

For some reason the computer that I use for most of my posting does not seem to like Blogger anymore, as it just attempts to load and load and load and never actually loads. So that is my problem and has been for a long time. And I think I need a new personal PC, but I have been dumping most of my available funds into bills and the house and computer money just isn't there. But it's all good . . . as long as I keep my part-time job, I can post here, if I remember to bring my camera. I have more and more stitching time lately. I started about 4 projects since the beginning of August. One is Left-brain's Christmas train, I am toying with adding beads to it to fancy it up some. I finished Someone Small's Halloween ornament and found fabric to back it and the one from last year. I also started Dames of the Needle's design from the Halloween special. I am stitching it with Victorian Sampler Threads in Faded Berries on fabric I dyed years ago, and it's turning out great. Hopefully, I can post pictures of them soon. Robbie came home to me yesterday. I held his little box and cried. I miss my boy. He will go on our dresser with his older sister and Shocka. We are going to get little plaques to put on their boxes at some point, but right now, we're just not moving the boxes, so we keep everyone straight. Left-brain wants to spread Shocka at the cottage, but he hasn't mustered up the strength to do it, and I promised the little ones that I'd never leave them again, and I just can't leave them at the cottage, not even now. We have talked about getting another dog for me, and have decided, when Shocka leaves us, which I do not want to happen for a long time, we'll get another Schipperke. Things will start looking up soon, I know.

Season of change

I know I have been away from blogging all summer. I didn't intend to be. I had more time to blog, but I chose to spend a lot of it with Kaydence. It has been a sweet season with her, watching her change and her personality develop. She is hopping now; her teacher says an almost 14 month old is not supposed to do that, but mine is doing it. I am grateful for the time I have had with her. Grateful for the sweetness of having life perfect for a month or so. But seasons change . . . Last Friday, my mom called me, just as my theatre shift was ending. With bad news. She has had custody of my Robbie since I moved in with Left-brain. It wasn't the intention to leave him with her forever, but that was how it turned out; Robbie would not have gotten along with Beazer and would have probably been killed, and he loved my mom, so she took him. I have been upset about this since it happened, but it was what it had to be. Anyway, he wasn't acting right, so she took him the vet, and the blood tests they did said he most likely either had a Stage 5 lymphoma or leukemia. They had to wait til the pathologist officially gave the results. It was devastating, maybe because he had been so well, just older. I sat with him on Saturday, cuddling and loving him, I told him if he'd just stick it out, I'd bring him home with me. He licked me and loved me, and I was hopeful maybe that the wait from the pathologist would mean he was OK, that it was something bad, but treatable. And it wasn't so. Monday evening, I sat and held him while he left. It was at sunset. I hated every second of it, but I did it for him, so he wouldn't be scared, so for once, he would be the one leaving, not me. I tell myself he died with someone loving him, and someone crying as he left, and there are dogs who are not given that, and there weren't options otherwise, but there are moments where it hits me that my dog is gone. And I feel such guilt about what I didn't do. Yesterday, Katie and I went to Hobby Lobby and were looking at the ornaments, and it struck me that I have to purchase him a memorial ornament for the Christmas tree, and I had to make myself get control, because I didn't want to have to be in that position. Not this soon. Not with him. And I hated it. And work is not going as well as I had wanted. I won't go into detail, but it's not how I wanted to be. And I am facing having to re-evaluate this situation. And I don't like it.