03 July 2008

Do you know when your fondest dream will come true?

I do. July 22nd.

I know this is supposed to be about my stitching, but I need to get this out!

No, I'm not getting married. At least not that I know of. But more than being married, more than having a family, more even than having a home, my most treasured dream (and it's sad that it's such a basic thing that I haven't been able to accomplish yet) is to have a nice smile. A pretty white smile with perfect teeth, all in a single line, no gaps, no holes, no ugly fillings. I am obsessed with teeth, I admit it. That is the first thing I notice about a person. Probably like people who want breast implants look at other people's assets, I look at teeth, and I wonder what it would be like to have gorgeous teeth.

I've been fighting to get to the point where I have that since I turned 18 and started making my own medical decisions. And I've never been able to accomplish it. I've been too scared, too worried, too . . . something . . . to actually stand up and say, "This is what I want. This is what I need to become the best me that there possibly can be. Whatever it takes, I will make this happen."

And then last summer, when I was in my "between times"--ya know, that time between the last time and the next time--I finally had enough and told my dentist that this is what I want, and I am tired of living with an ugly smile. And we started fixing it. I ran out of insurance pretty quick, so we've had to hold off a little to maximize my benefits, and that is OK. My teeth look better, and I feel better, but now I want more. I want to have the perfect smile.

And I am finally getting it. I made the appointment today. For July 22nd. It's not a small undertaking. My dentist asked me how long I want to be in the chair. We're doing 2 1/2 hours. But when I walk out of that office, I'll have 3 temporary crowns, a temporary bridge, and the startings for veneers. We're bleaching, too.

But I can't believe it. By the time my next car insurance payment is due, this will be started. Wow. All this waiting and it's finally going to happen. I can't wait. So if I'm a bit like a whirly gig for the next few weeks, it's cause of that.


Jennifer said...

I can totally relate to the teeth thing, except I have a raging fear of dentists. So much so that I went to a sedation dentist to get some much needed work done, and am in the process of having it finished.

Good luck!!!!

Lori said...

way to go girl!
I recently got some caps on mine and I LOVE my smile now - it made a world of difference to me and increased my confidence

Daffycat said...

You go girl...Good for you! I hope to see a close-up of that lovely new smile when it's done!

Erynne said...

I'm so happy for you!! It's one of those cosmetic improvements that I totally agree with because your teeth have to last you for the long haul as well as your smile! A wise and practical investment!


Pumpkin said...

That's wonderful Rachel! If you can afford to do it, then I'm glad you're taking this time to do it :o)

Btw, I want to thank you for all your hugs and support during this time :o)

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped--Frederick Perls